Always Possibilities

Three rejections in one day on my manuscript was too much for me. I sat down in front of the computer and began to sob. Feelings of inadequacy felt like a sword through my heart and at that moment I decided that I wouldn’t pursue another query, but instead take it as a sign that I wasn’t supposed to be an author.

As if like magic, a text message from my best friend came through asking how I was. I replied with bitterness and negativity over my bleak situation. Instead of giving me sympathy, she told me that it made me one step closer to MY agent and that the others just weren’t mean to be. What? No sympathy? No poor, poor Kristy?

Then the very next day she had the audacity of asking me if I had sent out my new queries yet. Honestly, at that point I was about ready to burn my manuscript and call it gone. And give her a piece of mind. I didn’t, though, and replied with a simple ‘no’. When my husband asked if I wanted to ride along to the bookstore, I gave him my dangerous look. How could I possibly browse the bookstore when they all had book deals and I didn’t? I crossed my arms in front of me and answered, ”Absolutely NOT”. I stuck out my bottom lip in a pout and offered a sniffle for extra drama. It didn’t work.

He talked me into going with an offer, errr bribe, of one of my downfalls; a caramel Frappachino. I made the most of it while I sipped my misery away in the extra whipped topping I talked the Barista into giving me. Peeking through my competition, it was then that I realized something. I was treating everything as, well, competition and not looking inside of my own journey. My own possibilities. Rainer Maria Rilke is quoted as saying “There is only one journey: going inside yourself.” Was I loving the writing process?

Absolutely! Was it fulfilling me? Yes! That approval that I was asking for wasn’t coming from a true place, though. And it was then that I had the revelation that the door is always open to possibilities, and it wasn’t the agent’s doing, but me.
Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” Van Gogh only sold one painting, but kept painting. Charles Schultz had every cartoon he submitted rejected by his high school yearbook staff. And remember Walt, well Disney wouldn’t hire him either. Lucille Ball was told she couldn’t act and needed to find a new profession. Harrison Ford was told the same. “Balding, skinny, can dance a little,’ they said of Fred Astaire at his first audition. Beethoven’s music teacher declared him ‘hopeless’ at composing.

And there are countless more who continued to find that journey within themselves and succeed. But there are many of us who give in and give up. We have stifled our life because of a critic who implied we were not good enough.

“Remembering that you have both wins and losses along the way. I don’t take either one too seriously.” Carl Lewis.
There are always possibilities. So whether you are feeling down about a relationship, or lack of one, a job, or lack of a job that you love, you are closing the door on your possibilities. Don’t compete with others on what you believe they have (believe me - those that look to have the perfect relationship rarely do), but instead keep your door open to the possibilities so that YOUR job or YOUR mate will be there when the timing is right.
I have several books that will be on the book shelves very soon, however the one that I love still hasn’t been picked up. However, my door is open and I continue to pursue the agent that IS mine. It will happen and I refuse to sob in my Frappachino again.

Posted by Kristy Robinett at 5:35 AM